foxnewsofficial:

yeah okay mom-chan

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

Popping bottles in the ice, like a lizard. When we drink we do it right, with a lizard.

multipack:

if my life was a drink it would be room temperature coke with the ice melted

I wish I weRE RICCCHHH

pajamaben:

"Billy where is your homework?"

"im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it”

frantzfandom:

awisemanoncesaidnothing:

Usain Bolt posing with his winning tortoise at a tortoise race

are you telling me the fastest man in the world spends his free time racing slow ass animals

frantzfandom:

awisemanoncesaidnothing:

Usain Bolt posing with his winning tortoise at a tortoise race

are you telling me the fastest man in the world spends his free time racing slow ass animals

dw:

when someone gives you directions but you go the wrong way

image